Why bother giving up?

I talk a lot about my lack of confidence when it comes to being a graphic designer. It defintely stems from the fact that I don't do it full-time and also because I don't have a degree. Sometimes I wonder why I bother trying to convince myself that I'm the real deal and why I don't just give it up. But then I say, "Self- shut up. The real question is, why bother not trying to convince myself and why would you just give up? Why bother giving up when you can just keep going?"

We have great conversations, myself and I.

It's a constant struggle. A lot of the time it doesn't feel like I'm struggling with my confidence because I'm working on a project that I am confident in. But then I get a project that I don't really know how to handle and then my negative self starts talking smack again and I have to put her in her place.

Those are the projects that will threaten your confidence, but those are the projects that allow you to grow. I wonder if my "specialty" will always be birth announcements, invitations, and other print design projects, or if someday I will be just as confident in other areas of design.

It's really hard to continually work towards something while you still have a million other things going on in your life. I wish I could spend all day, every day working on my designs, getting clients, continuing my education and knowledge, and planning for my professional future. But when you have a 9-5 job, a baby to take care of when you get home, an apartment to keep up, and relationships to maintain. You know, life.

Every night, when Julian goes to bed I work on something to add to my portfolio, or I work on my blog or portfolio site, making sure that everything is up to date and represents me the way I am today. It's hard to balance those things because most nights I just want to watch Treehouse Masters (my new favorite show) and eat cheesecake, but I resist those urges most nights so that I can get something done and feel like I'm still working towards my goals. It feels really good to finish a project because I know that it means I'm one tiny step closer to being able to call myself a graphic designer.

I want to remind you that when you feel like you should give up, ask yourself why. If your reason is something along the lines of "I'm too busy", "I'm too tired", or "I'm not good at it", then you need to go and do it, because the more you let those thoughts win, the more you are losing. Give yourself breaks so the thing you love to do and want to get better at doesn't become daunting or chore-like. Give yourself a night o eat cheesecake, watch Treehouse Masters and shamelessly lurk your enemies via social media, but the next night you better get right back at whatever it is that you should be working on.

You might as well, right? There are only so many episodes of your favorite shows, and late night snacking isn't good for you anyways.

Is there anyone else out there that has this problem? Do you ever feel like you should just give up because you aren't seeing some type of result of your hard work? Are you falling victim to a lack of confidence in what you love to do? If so, just keep thinking:

Why bother giving up when I can just keep going?